FOLKS FROM MAINE


You Know You're From Maine When...

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard.

You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit .

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snowblower than on your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.

You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.

The hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet above the ground.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.

You think everyone from the city has an accent. .

You think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun..

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage. .

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper. .

The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.

There is only one shopping plaza in town. .

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You find -60 a might chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze. .

You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

You actually "get" these jokes, and forward them to all your Maine friends!!!


YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you own flannel shirts.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you wear one with a tie.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you know the back roads.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you drive them to avoid the toll booth.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you own a pickup truck.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if the truck is 4-wheel drive, has a gun rack, a plow on the front and a dog in the back.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you attend church suppers.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if that's considered a night out on the town.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you live in a white cape.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if there is a picket fence around the house, a garden in the back, a woodpile somewhere, some appliances on the front lawn, and a rusty pick-up pushed into the woods.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you say "Ames-es".
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you do all your shopping there.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you know everyone in town.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if they're all related to you.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you go to the dump on Saturday.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you leave with more than what you brought.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you change the oil in our car yourself but.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you pour it into the fenders and the doors when you're done.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you buy a ticket to the fireman's' ball.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you actually attend.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you carry a beeper.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if the only time it goes off is when there's a fire in town.

YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if your uncle is the chief of police.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if he's also the road agent, dog catcher, dump keeper, town clerk and a selectman.



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